The Ides of March

March 16th, 2006

Interesting day. It started off calm enough, I went to the bank to pick up the pieces of my finances from the disaster that was the beginning of the week. Everything went well, Bank of America had given me back the money that was withdrawal, except for the non bank ATM fee’s that were charged as a result of the perpetrators using random ATM’s. Also, Bank of America charged me 90 bucks for being overdrawn…..hidden fees, figures.

I got into work a little late, and wrote some e-mails, worked on some probs. Then at around 12, Avi and I had, what had turned into, our weekly lunch at Alibaba’s. I came back to work and pretty much worked until 7, Although Avi sent me an invite to oink, a private music download site, which I promptly took advantage of.

While I was pulling out of work in my bug, I noticed it was acting funny, like it needed gas. The only gas station on the way to Jessica’s was ARCO, and I was already supposed to be there so I didn’t have time for a detour. I stopped, and being very paranoid used the automated keypad to enter my pin, fake pressing a bunch of numbers as to confuse any would be pin thieves. I gassed up and I was out of there.

So today was Jessica’s birthday, and we were going to meet to have dinner, then celebrate further at the bars.The night was rather enjoyable, except for Kate was there and she was not happy with me. To understand why I’m going to have to give you all a little background.

Kate and I began flirting with each other back in the summer of 2004. It escalated until December, when we finally decided to get together and try having a relationship. It was good times for about a month or so until I broke it off. I won’t get into the reasoning, but suffice it to say that I’m a stupid boy. Anyway, we still harbored some feelings for each other, and after about a year I realized what a mistake I had made in letting Kate go. I realized how much I missed her, and how great we were together. I even thought about the possibility of a real future with her, continuing after college and possibly longer.

In November 2005, I convinced Kate to give us another chance, and we began our second relationship. This time was even better than the first. I felt like I had really found someone I could be myself with, and who I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with. Things were going great. After a few months, as winter quarter began to start getting crazy, I became really busy. I enjoyed spending time with Kate, but it become more and more of a chore, as I had so many things I needed to get done, with little down time. It also seemed like something was missing. After a long day, I should want to go to my girlfriend’s place and hang out for a while, but I didn’t. I simply wanted to stay home, relax for a bit and sleep. This didn’t seem right to me, and I knew this isn’t how a relationship should be. I decided that I was too busy for a serious relationship at this point in my life, and explained this to Kate.

She wasn’t happy about it, but she was very understanding and told me that she felt a serious relationship wasn’t the right thing for her then either. We decided to simply stay friends. However, anyone that has to go back to being friends after being in a relationship knows, its not easy. After trying to deal with the awkwardness that ensues when trying to hang out with an ex, we came to an agreement that we could still have a non-serious hybrid relationship that would fill each others needs as best it could.

This experiment went well for little while, but It quickly became apparent to me that is was not working for me. It didn’t feel right to be in this middle stage, not moving forward or backward. I slowly began to realize that while I still enjoyed spending time with Kate, I was beginning to lose my attraction for her. I to make it work for a while, but I decided this past weekend that it wasn’t working, and that it wasn’t fair to either of us to continue.
So once again, the stupid boy broke it off. We decided to try to still be friends, even though we both knew it would be awkward and difficult.

So this brings me to Kate not being to happy with me. While I’m sure she wasn’t too happy with me for reasons explained previously here, there is a bit more….

Recently Kate’s roommate Brianne purchased a used laptop from a friend and needed some help transferring files and fixing a few things. Because I like helping people, especially with computer problems, I agreed to help her. We spent a few hours on Saturday and Monday working on her computer, and pretty much hanging out while her files transferred and I worked on getting her laptop running right. Now Brianne and I, I’ve been told (by Kate), flirt alot. It doesn’t really mean anything, it’s just our personalities. We also have this rivalry going on, she is pretty much my new Nemesis, or was anyway. We just try to “get” each other, practical jokes, arguments, pretty much anything, kinda like siblings.

Saturday, when I came over to help Brianne out, I left a box of Girl Scout Cookies at their house. I came back on Sunday to talk to Kate about our relationship, she told me I had the cookies there, and that they were in the Kitchen. I grabbed the box, not thinking anything of it ,and went home. When I got home, I felt like eating some cookies, only to realize the cookies in the box had been replaced with a bag of flour, and a note saying, “Gottem” (notice Gotem was misspelled). Of course that was an ego hit and I had to get her (Brianne) back, I just didn’t know how. An opportunity presented itself when Brianne demanded a copy of the Unicorns CD in exchange for my cookies. I decided to produce a fake CD, with nothing but my roommates and I saying, “Got’em.” I was able to successfully make the trade, which shocked and infuriated Brianne who still wanted her CD.

At this point, I was done with my projects and things for the quarter, so I had a little more time on my hands. Probably a little too much time. Since Brianne and I have different schedules, I decided to leave the CD in a book at the Library for her to pick up. I realized the opportunity to make Brianne work a little for her CD, and I thought it would be fun to hide a few notes in different books, making her run all around the library in one big “Gotem!” I told her to meet me in one of the computer labs, where I could simply send her a message telling her what the first book was, and leaving her follow the trail to the CD. In the end she found the CD, and ended up checking out one of the books I hid it in.

Ok so back to Kate not being happy with me again. She pretty much thinks I have a crush on Brianne. I think Brianne is cool, but I don’t feel that way about her, she is just fun to be around. The whole flirting thing got Kate thinking that I had a crush on Brianne, and then the “scavenger hunt” thing just made her think it more. So she feels jealous, or mad or whatever. I’m not sure if it’s just toward me, or if it’s toward Brianne too. In retrospect, I should have considered her feelings more when planning the “scavenger hunt.” It was a bit much, and I can see how she could think something was going on, but nothing was. If anything I needed a place to channel my energy away from thinking about the breakup. I was told her roommate wasn’t the best choice, but I wasn’t channeling it towards her roommate, just toward an activity, hiding clues in library books.

So Kate was unhappy with me the whole evening. She wasn’t exactly ignoring me, as she would answer any questions I asked, but she definitely didn’t seem interested in talking to me. Also, as the evening wore on and her and Jessica drank a little more, Kate began to tell Jessica her side of the story. This led to many dirty looks and name calling from Jessica, who is just trying be a good friend. It doesn’t bother me so much though, because I know Jessica means well, and after I talked to her for a while she lighten up and simply confessed she wanted Kate and I to be together. But that just doesn’t seem like its going happen, at least at this point in our lives.

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